Episodes

Wednesday Jul 10, 2019
Ep27: I Destroyed The Planet
Wednesday Jul 10, 2019
Wednesday Jul 10, 2019
Being the older one of the group, it was my generation that made a mess of Earth by burning everything we could dig out of the ground and eating dolphins. In my defense though, we only did what we were told at the time. We were led to believe that plastics were the future and that smoking was cool.
Chris is outraged (isn't he always?) to discover that Carl and I eat eggs from caged hens. He thinks chickens should have regular holidays, gym memberships and a pension plan. That's all very well but the cost of all these luxuries is reflected in the price. Free range eggs cost twice as much. Chris isn't convinced but then again he's the one who pays people to mow his lawn, clean his windows and deliver his groceries.

Wednesday Jul 03, 2019
Ep26: The Chinese Takeaway Refused To Test My Eyes
Wednesday Jul 03, 2019
Wednesday Jul 03, 2019
I tell Carl and Chris about the busy week I've had. I've been to the doctor's twice. Had blood tests. Had an eyesight test. Went to a wedding party and a car boot sale. Of course we discuss all this in much more detail with some hilarious moments.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday Jun 26, 2019
Ep25: Throwing Shit At Your Attacker!!!
Wednesday Jun 26, 2019
Wednesday Jun 26, 2019
Chris couldn't make it this week so I got Jemma and Carl on a Whatsapp group phone call. We talk about Donald Trump's first line of defence against the latest sexual assault accusation 'She's not my type'.
Jemma tells us about a woman's self defence class she just attended where it turns out the most effective method is to just shit yourself under the premise that no attacker wants to deal with that.
Also it seems that I may have bought a toilet seat for Prince Harry and his missus as they've just had their gaff spruced up costing £2,400,000. Yes that's 2.4 million pounds.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
Ep24: Dog Owners Are Terrible People
Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
I have two of those horrible yappy little dogs living next to me and sometimes they are out in the garden just barking for ages, for no apparent reason. However, they are just doing what dogs do. I blame the owners. Why are they letting this happen? Let's discipline the owners first so that they can learn to control their dogs.
I'm all for an eagle breeding program in Wales to solve the issue of these annoying little tyrants. Once a couple of tiny barkers have been snatched, other owners will keep their dogs inside and away from us decent people.
I'm also annoyed at those that don't clean up after their pets when out in public places. Carl suggested we pick up the poo for them and then throw it at the owners. That sounds like a great idea to me.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday Jun 12, 2019
Ep23: Game Of Thrones - What Did We Think?
Wednesday Jun 12, 2019
Wednesday Jun 12, 2019
Game of Thrones is finally over. Chris, Carl and myself discuss the whole series and especially season 8. I'm confused by the fact that the dragons did bugger all through the whole series and then suddenly, as if by magic, they can lay waste to everything in sight. It makes no sense.
Also I thought the big battle with the White Walkers in episode 3 was pretty shit. The battle in episode 5 was much better, especially Cersei crying and getting crushed by rocks.
My favourite scene was at the end of the last episode when they're all sitting around wondering who's going to be king. The dwarf is in handcuffs saying 'Don't pick me, I'll fuck it up'. Then they give the crown to the token disabled person. Ridiculous.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast
I also wrote a Game of Thrones review on our Patreon page.

Wednesday Jun 05, 2019
Ep22: Can A Woman Be James Bond? (Ridiculous!)
Wednesday Jun 05, 2019
Wednesday Jun 05, 2019
Chris is fed up of the standard James Bond and suggested that maybe a woman could be 007. Obviously that's ridiculous and we get into a heated debate about the whole thing. The remake of Ghostbusters featuring all women was a disaster. Writers should be writing new material for women and non white actors to show off their talents with an original idea.
We also argue about traditions. Chris says that nobody is interested in traditions anymore. I point out that he's just got married.
We argued more in this episode than all the others put together. Carl found it all hilarious.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday May 22, 2019
Ep21: Marriage. What's The Point Of It?
Wednesday May 22, 2019
Wednesday May 22, 2019
This week we discuss marriage and what's the point of it. Does it still make sense to want to get married. This was Chris' choice of subject which was a bit dangerous as he's only just got married.
We also brought up the bizarre stories of people marrying inanimate objects such as railway stations. Carl is quite concerned about this and thinks it's wrong that nobody is taking the railway station's feelings into consideration. I have a different view as the trains in the UK are nearly always late and I think the railway station has a big part to play in this so it's getting no sympathy from me.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday May 15, 2019
Ep20: Is Time Travel Possible? Chris Is Now An Expert
Wednesday May 15, 2019
Wednesday May 15, 2019
Me, Carl and Chris discuss if time travel is possible. Chris spent all day tomorrow thinking about this. We come to the conclusion that if one of us went back in time and killed Hitler it wouldn't change our history, but a new timeline would have been created from that point which would follow the death of evil Adolf. Also I may be the king of Namibia in another timeline which makes sense as I've always thought I'm a bit royal.
We also discuss the Mandela effect. Pikachu never had a black tip on his tail and the word Kit Kat never had a hyphen between them.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday May 08, 2019
Ep19: Religion - Angels Are Aliens/ Buddhists Are Cool/ Priests Can't Be Trusted
Wednesday May 08, 2019
Wednesday May 08, 2019
Its the usual trio of Mart, Carl and Chris. This week we tackle religion. I claim that the bible and other religious writings are the best evidence ever of alien visitations. Chris would like to be a Jedi and Carl gives his thoughts on Islam.
There is also mention of Catholic priests and altar boys but that probably comes as no surprise to anyone.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast

Wednesday May 01, 2019
Ep18: Some Dwarves Are Like Real Humans
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Today me, Carl and Chris have a bit of a catch up on the latest gossip. We chat about Game of Thrones and how Peter Dinklage sounds like a real human. And the Indian man that cut his finger off for pressing the wrong voting button in the Indian elections.
We also discuss who we think we need to save in the event of a major disaster. We agreed that the old and infirm can go and wander off into the woods and survive on their own so that the scientists, builders and farmers can continue the human race.
We've now started a Patreon page so you can come and join in the community and support the podcast. https://www.patreon.com/MartsWorldPodcast